Work Transition Checkpoint: Almost 9 Months In (a Checkpoint of Truths)

[Warning: It's long and it's real. I spill; there's no sugar-coating here.]

The last few months of my work transition journey have been coloured with action, many steps outside of my comfort zone, much needed rest, joyful disbelief at the prospect of being paid to do such fulfilling work, and frustration at the fact that it's still a "prospect" at this point in time and not yet reality.

I'm dealing with questions related to my relationship with money, independence and marriage, and vulnerability. I expected the money issues to crop up (they did a long time ago), but I wasn't ready for the rest.

This checkpoint is an honest, raw braindump of transition-related "truths", as they stand today:

~ Truth is, by focusing on my dream of creating work that supports the life I want to live, we're putting D.'s dream of home ownership on hold. Truth is, I feel guilty about that.

~ Truth is, I want to own a home too. Maybe even that funky 1950s one with the vaulted ceiling, oodles of natural light, greenhouse and faux pine-panelled "conservatory"; the one that I noticed about a month ago, that D. noticed this week, listed at a lower price. Truth is, until I bring in revenue, it's most likely not going to happen (but I'm open to options, Universe!).

~ Truth is, I still believe - perhaps naively - that one dream doesn't have to come at the expense of the other. It may just be a question of timing; I'm a little impatient, that's all. Patience isn't one of my fortes.

~ Truth is, I'm a little disappointed at the speed at which I am working. I'm a slow, methodical worker - also sometimes known as a perfectionist, which means I don't "ship out" very quickly. I want to experiment with quicker production. I am not afraid to work hard at a sustainable capacity.

I could always take up the bagpipe...

~ Truth is, I'm still proud of all the things I did produce this year: a mailing list with consistent mailouts, a Monthly Planning Kit (sign up for the mailing list and it's yours, FREE!), a Facebook page, a pilot workshop called Creating Intentional Spaces, twice-a-week blog posts, consultations on workshop planning and key content messaging for presentations, beta consultations for my upcoming Get Clear, Get Moving offerings, new artwork and a renewed online shop, the basic structure of a new website (coming soon), specific money and marketing goals, a guest post here and a new regular contribution here, and deeper relationships with kindreds who are on a similar journey. I write this not to boast, but to acknowledge how far I've come. It's how I give myself the encouragement that I need.

~ Truth is, I can't wait to get to work in the morning. I love what I'm doing. I also love working from home and having the flexibility to set my own work hours.

~ Truth is, I want to make this work. Really badly. On some days I waver in my belief that it can be done; luckily on most, I'm optimistic.

~ Truth is, I don't know how it's all going to turn out and when I stop to think about it, that makes me very uncomfortable. So I continue plugging away and doing whatever I can do that's within my control. I also practice faith. It doesn't always come easily.

~ Truth is, it's a fine line between acknowledging the lows and what they're trying to tell me, and dwelling on them. Thankfully, I bounce back much faster than I did even six months ago. Much, much faster.

~ Truth is, I get excited at the thought of all the projects I want to make real! And I do believe many of them have the potential to create revenue. This excites me even more.

~ Truth is, this is one of the deepest personal learning experiences since my divorce. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

~ Truth is, I think I am worthy of work that fulfills me and allows me to live a life that is rich (not just financially), healthy and meaningful. I will give this transition everything I've got.

~ Truth is, I think you're worthy of it too.

Goals, Right Pace and Self-Compassion

June was a high energy, full-paced month; July, not so much. I'm cool with that.

I'm very aggressive with my monthly goals. I prefer aiming high even if it means sometimes I miss the target. It may not be the most effective way to go about it, but it works for me.

I think one of the key reasons I can do this is because I practice self-love, embracing the notions of right pace and self-compassion.

Right pace and self-compassion are the perfect companions to planning and goal-setting.

"Achievement without self-love is empty. Goals without flexibility and breathing room are punishments. I am learning that how I hold my own hand on this journey determines the nature of success I will have. I don’t want to 'arrive' anywhere without my own self-love."

~ Tama J. Kieves

When I miss my target, I know if I really could have met it. I know if I could have made different choices and pushed myself a bit more. I also know when I made the right choice to let it go.

Through experimentation and observation, I discover my right pace.

Find your right pace. Make plans. Know when to let them go.

When you're setting your goals, wiggle room is a must; it's just more fun that way.

Photo Pause: Vacation @ Cottage #2, Trees and Greenery

A photo pause of greenery from our vacation at the cottage. There are a few more photos than usual in this one. It was just too hard to choose.

pine forest on a calm morning

leaf, drop, treetops

climbing under a vibrant canopy

I couldn't resist the birches in the evening sun...

... nor could I resist the birch bark.

there were pines too, white and red

red pine bark

an enchanted forest right at our doorstep

A Sunny, Restful, Soulful Vacation

I am home from my week in the woods and ever so gently easing back into my workspace, missing the lake and the loons terribly, feeling re-connected to Centre, ready to continue my journey.

For seven days D. and I were immersed in silence and nature (no TV, no radio) with no where to be and nothing needing to be done.

Graced with an idyllic lake view, six out of seven days of sunshine and all the time in the world on our hands, we spent a restorative week doing whatever the heck we wanted to do. There was swimming, hiking, fishing, reading, sitting, eating - lots of eating, and even a bit of socializing.

At least once a day I looked at D., shook my head and spoke a low, awe-filled "wow." I'd say that makes it a pretty dang good vacay.

Here are a few favourite pics, there are so many to choose from!

Blissful Cottage #2 is nestled amongst the pines and birches.

On the first morning I enjoyed a peaceful cuppa on the dock...

... while D. went out for a paddle.

One morning we packed a thermos of coffee and rowed to the small mountain

(or very large hill) across the lake, and bushwhacked our way up to the top.

What a view! That little white dot along the shore on the bottom lake

was our floating dock.

Every meal was savoured at the sunflower table with a view...

... and almost always followed by some downtime on the dock.

(That little mountain on the left is the one we climbed.)

I miss the stillness and the presence of Mother Nature tremendously, but remind myself that, while perhaps it takes a little more effort, both can be found and appreciated right here in the city:

"For before you can find peace anywhere, you must have silence and quiet in your heart and in your mind.

Then when your eyes are opened and your ears are unplugged, you will see the birds that come to perch on your porch or on the tiny handkerchief lawn that you have before your house. You will notice the lonely bush of lilacs that blooms in the neighboring yard or in a park.

Like St. Francis of Assisi, you will find many little animals and birds to talk to right where you live. What is more important, you might even learn to listen to them."

~ Catherine Doherty, foundress of Madonna House, Combermere, Ontario

NEW! The Tried, Tested & True Monthly Planning Kit

sunshine, lake and canoe await (photo from 2009)

I will soon be chillin' by a lake, but before I go I really wanted to let you that I've created a great new e-kit called The Tried, Tested & True Monthly Planning Kit, where scattered thoughts come together.

If you have sticky notes with to-do's and ideas strewn all over the place (paper or electronic, doesn't matter), this is a great tool to help you bring them all together and move those ideas from sticky notes to reality.

This monthly planning process has helped me get things done month after month, from creating a workshop from scratch, to taking action on new business products, to creating this e-kit!

If you're already a subscriber to my mailing list, it's waiting for you in your inbox. If not, sign up here or on the sidebar to get your FREE copy.

I'm thrilled to put this out into the world. I'm proud of this product and I like it.

I hope you like it too.

Go. Get it!