Word for 2011: Unfold

evening shadows on a garden wall, Maplelawn Historic Garden, Ottawa

"If there are no emergencies in your life, what situation could you allow to unfold more gently?"

~ Julia Cameron, Walking in this World

unfold: vb 1: to open the folds of: open up 2: to lay open to view: disclose 3: blossom, develop

It's what I see happening this year. It's what I struggle with. It's what I practice.

Letting things unfold.

~~~

What could you allow to unfold more gently today?

Gathering My Own Strength (A Different Approach to Goals and Action)

slow & steady in the sun, Mud Lake, May 2009

"We are vulnerable and exquisite creatures, complex mechanisms intended to move at a human and humane pace. We elect that pace every time we slow down to gather - and feel - our strength."

~ Julia Cameron, Walking in this World

The last six months of 2010 were crazy and exhilarating. I set hard, fast goals and I met them, gaining satisfaction and a new confidence in my ability to execute along the way. Then I set more big goals and worked hard at figuring out how I'd meet those.

Then I got tired of striving. So I stepped back.

For the past four months I've been experimenting with a different pace. For the first time in a while I've allowed Big Important Goals (BIGs) related to Life's Big Questions (LBQs) to sit on the back-burner. They're still there, they're just a little more fluid and a little less prominent.

Instead of setting a specific goal into the future and working backwards to see what I need to do to achieve it, I'm choosing to leave the goal in the background and take small intuitive actions in the right direction.

I set micro-goals that stem from insights that come up in my journaling (I like Matisse, I should dedicate a month to learning all about him, like a school project. I could report back on my blog!); I make micro-decisions based on gut feel (Which way do I feel like walking tonight? Which book is calling out to me today?). Then I trust that I'm doing the right thing.

Center stage shifts from goals and deadlines to intuition and the next right action.

This is a different way of working for me and frankly it makes the left-brain project planner in me cringe. But after four months it still seems to be working, at least enough for me to continue experimenting and see where it will lead me.

And I still feel like I'm moving forward, though I'm not always sure towards what. I'm learning how to "live more gracefully with ambiguity" (thank you Ms Cameron for wording it so beautifully).

Or maybe I'm just taking the time I need to gather - and feel - my own strength.

May Days Ramble

My writing mojo may have settled in for a well-deserved snooze, but it's been a full week! I offer you a rambling list of what I've been up to these first few days of May...

~ Painting, experimenting with a bigger canvas and a fixed colour palette.

~ Watching my peonies grow, listening to the birds sing and catching my first whiff of that sweet spring air that comes with budding leaves and blossoms.

~ Walking through Ottawa's Arts District, enjoying a taste of five different galleries in one evening in the company of like-minded art-lovers. If you live in Ottawa and like art I highly recommend Wellington West's 1st Thursday Art Walk (the link is to a great description on a new-to-me local blog called Visual Encounter).

~ Toying with the idea of a painting experiment involving Thelonious Monk, Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald.

~ Looking forward to picking up this piece that's being professionally framed - my first one!

feels like jazz, 16x20 on canvas

~ Working hard at the office to meet a deadline. (We met it!)

~ Mulling over federal election results (and staying up too late doing so), feeling grateful for having the right to vote and living in the country in which I live.

~ Crashing early, curling up on the couch with D. and Cassie, enjoying a few hours of TV escapism.

~ Pondering a theme for the blog this month, but opting to hang back a bit and relax after last month's Matisse Month.

~ Looking forward to TV Ontario's Photography Month and the photography-related documentaries they'll be showing during the next few weeks.

~ Feeling confident about my art one day, questioning it the next.

~ Musing over the past four months and how I've been moving forward without really setting hard, fast goals or knowing where I'm going. Feeling a little disoriented by it, but satisfactorily intrigued enough to continue down that path for now and see where it will lead me.

~ Mentally drafting a blog post on my word for 2011. I know, it's late. But I'm ok with that.

X-ercise Your Power

untitled, 9x12 on canvas

It's election day. Go vote!