Work Transition Checkpoint: 10 Months In (In Which The Road Twists)

dream frame with a mini image of Giselle;

winged muse and hand-of-Goddess in the background

"I have long wondered: at what point, if ever, do we say to ourselves or a beloved, 'This dream in this form is not possible. You are not attending to life's realities. You need to regroup.'"

~ Jen Louden

I am choosing to move forward on an opportunity to work three days a week at my former 9-5 job. It was tough decision, and it wasn't. I need the money, plain & simple.

It hurts a little (sometimes more than others) and it's a relief. A familiar, obvious, and attractive choice, these three days will offer a revenue base that will allow me to continue my journey to meaningful work a little more freely.

On the surface, this return to the office may seem like two steps back after a major step forward this past year, and it may be. But more and more I'm choosing to see it as just a step, another phase in my transition to meaningful work until the next one comes along.

More and more I am considering it as an opportunity to serve my dream and move it forward through expanded connections, new experiences gleaned, funds, and as an incentive to focus and prioritize work during my days at home. It may even mean a little more fun.

Everyone knows dreams love fun.

Already the release from financial pressure has left space for renewed excitement about the work I've begun putting out into the world this past year. I feel things percolating, and I'm eager to continue.

In a strange way, this twist in the road is validating the life I want to create, inviting me to question my vision - and solidify it.

My dream is far from dead, it's simply changing form to where it needs to be today.

It's time to regroup.

Bring it.

~~~

If you're struggling with a reality gap when it comes to creating meaningful work - wanting to be at a certain point, but not quite there yet - you're not alone. The blog posts below brought me comfort in navigating and accepting my own gap; I share them here in case they may be of comfort to you.

• Can Dreams Be Dangerous? by Jen Louden
• How To Deal With Disappointment by Beth Reacher, The Career Stylist
• The Life Cycle of a Visionary by Lissa Rankin

On Meaningful Work, Reality Gaps and Divine Timing...

a product of therapeutic camera play, a perfect antidote to gap-induced grumpiness

When it comes to my journey to meaningful and viable work, I am not where I want to be.

Let me clarify: I'm extremely excited and proud of the products and services I offer and the ones I have in the development queue as I type (seriously, LOVE them!). From a fulfillment perspective, I consider my ongoing journey to meaningful work a success.

In conjunction, my desire for meaningful work includes its ability to support me financially. I seek a certain level of comfort and lifestyle, and, in order to consider my journey to meaningful work an overall success, it needs to support that too.

My leave from my former 9-5 gig ends soon, and I must consider my options. I have bills to pay. This is my reality.

Thanks to the generosity of my former manager in offering me a one-year leave last year, I have a fairly obvious option available to me. Returning to my 9-5 job, even if for a few days a week, would ease my financial conundrum considerably. I am grateful.

I am also disappointed. The reality gap of wanting to be financially viable (or at least somewhere close) in my new work, but not being there yet, hurts. Yet, perhaps my expectations were not very realistic to begin with.

I am extremely proud of how far I've come this past year, and of the foundation I am laying every day in my journey to meaningful and financially rewarding work. Never before have I been so eager to get to work each morning. I feel blessed.

This fuels me to go on.

Despite my current reality gap, I still firmly believe that it is possible to do what you love and make a good living out of it; I have no plans of giving up on that. What I'm learning though, is that it may not be on my schedule.

In the meantime, may the journey continue...

Say YES to Your What-ifs + 3 NEW Planning & Productivity Packages

ta-dah!

After reading my last post, some of you might wonder how - or why - on earth one would quit a solid paying job with solid benefits to put one's self through such turmoil! But others, I know, are not wondering at all; you know why.

You get it.

You know it's about not wanting to settle, about being tired of feeling stuck. It's about answering the call to explore what's out there instead of constantly wondering what if.

It's about giving it your best shot even if there are no guarantees, because not trying at all would be too painful.

None of this stuff is specific to my wanting to create meaningful work. You might feel called to clear out the guest bedroom and turn it into a studio, set up a blog, or finally create that new amazing product/e-course/line of greeting cards that's been sitting on the back burner for the past six months, but for some reason, you haven't quite gotten to it.

Feeling stuck sucks, there's no need to stay there. You're ready to move on.

One small action at a time, give your projects and what-ifs the attention they deserve. When you do that, you'll feel better about yourself. When you feel better about yourself, good things happen.

Make good things happen.

~~~

I'm now offering 3 NEW one-on-one planning & productivity consultation packages to help YOU gain traction on your dreams and goals. Clarity, momentum, and gentle accountability is what it's all about.

Sometimes all it takes is that perfectly timed nudge to get you moving. Go see!

Work Transition Checkpoint: Almost 9 Months In (a Checkpoint of Truths)

[Warning: It's long and it's real. I spill; there's no sugar-coating here.]

The last few months of my work transition journey have been coloured with action, many steps outside of my comfort zone, much needed rest, joyful disbelief at the prospect of being paid to do such fulfilling work, and frustration at the fact that it's still a "prospect" at this point in time and not yet reality.

I'm dealing with questions related to my relationship with money, independence and marriage, and vulnerability. I expected the money issues to crop up (they did a long time ago), but I wasn't ready for the rest.

This checkpoint is an honest, raw braindump of transition-related "truths", as they stand today:

~ Truth is, by focusing on my dream of creating work that supports the life I want to live, we're putting D.'s dream of home ownership on hold. Truth is, I feel guilty about that.

~ Truth is, I want to own a home too. Maybe even that funky 1950s one with the vaulted ceiling, oodles of natural light, greenhouse and faux pine-panelled "conservatory"; the one that I noticed about a month ago, that D. noticed this week, listed at a lower price. Truth is, until I bring in revenue, it's most likely not going to happen (but I'm open to options, Universe!).

~ Truth is, I still believe - perhaps naively - that one dream doesn't have to come at the expense of the other. It may just be a question of timing; I'm a little impatient, that's all. Patience isn't one of my fortes.

~ Truth is, I'm a little disappointed at the speed at which I am working. I'm a slow, methodical worker - also sometimes known as a perfectionist, which means I don't "ship out" very quickly. I want to experiment with quicker production. I am not afraid to work hard at a sustainable capacity.

I could always take up the bagpipe...

~ Truth is, I'm still proud of all the things I did produce this year: a mailing list with consistent mailouts, a Monthly Planning Kit (sign up for the mailing list and it's yours, FREE!), a Facebook page, a pilot workshop called Creating Intentional Spaces, twice-a-week blog posts, consultations on workshop planning and key content messaging for presentations, beta consultations for my upcoming Get Clear, Get Moving offerings, new artwork and a renewed online shop, the basic structure of a new website (coming soon), specific money and marketing goals, a guest post here and a new regular contribution here, and deeper relationships with kindreds who are on a similar journey. I write this not to boast, but to acknowledge how far I've come. It's how I give myself the encouragement that I need.

~ Truth is, I can't wait to get to work in the morning. I love what I'm doing. I also love working from home and having the flexibility to set my own work hours.

~ Truth is, I want to make this work. Really badly. On some days I waver in my belief that it can be done; luckily on most, I'm optimistic.

~ Truth is, I don't know how it's all going to turn out and when I stop to think about it, that makes me very uncomfortable. So I continue plugging away and doing whatever I can do that's within my control. I also practice faith. It doesn't always come easily.

~ Truth is, it's a fine line between acknowledging the lows and what they're trying to tell me, and dwelling on them. Thankfully, I bounce back much faster than I did even six months ago. Much, much faster.

~ Truth is, I get excited at the thought of all the projects I want to make real! And I do believe many of them have the potential to create revenue. This excites me even more.

~ Truth is, this is one of the deepest personal learning experiences since my divorce. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

~ Truth is, I think I am worthy of work that fulfills me and allows me to live a life that is rich (not just financially), healthy and meaningful. I will give this transition everything I've got.

~ Truth is, I think you're worthy of it too.

Work Transition Checkpoint: Six Months In

a new month, a new opportunity to get my work planning geek on!

It's been six months since I left my 9-5 job, a good round number for a work transition checkpoint don't you think?

In no particular order, here are some bits & bobs on where I'm at - headspace, insights, projects and more...

[Warning: it's a bit long.]

~~~

I don't think I've ever worked so hard. When I work it's intense because I love what I'm doing, work is often what I did for play when I was at my 9-5 job. I can easily put in a 10-hour day and go through days without taking a full day off.

That being said my body still gets tired and my mind does too. I need to listen. I need to build in breaks, days off, and find new ways to unplug completely.

It's a bit of a head-scratcher right now. I'm learning.

~~~

I'd summarize each of the first six months of my leave as follows:

NOVEMBER - Chill. All about Art Every Day Month. Wonderful!

DECEMBER - A mixed bag. Holidays, Solstice Reflections, disillusionment, raring to go, but not really a good time to start anything. A little frustrating.

JANUARY - Go, go, go. Lots of action, to-dos and insights.

FEBRUARY - Go, go, go. Lots of action, to-dos and insights.

MARCH - Crash. Sink into fear of never again making enough money to buy a tent-trailer or replace my 10-year old Honda. Savings are running out and income is minimal. Help. Some action, but at a much slower pace than the previous months. Brought intuition and painting back to the forefront. Good move.

APRIL - More painting, focus on art and updating the online shop. Letting go of my money fears - or sticking my head in the sand, still not sure which one. A little quicker pace than March, but not quite as crazy as January & February. All good.

~~~

I'm confused around my financial expectations.

Sis says that when she asked about it six months ago I didn't expect to have a salary equivalent to that of my 9-5 job at the end of the year, I told her it wasn't realistic. Now that the savings have run out I'm getting a little antsy about revenue. But I still have to be realistic. It just feels slow sometimes, that's all.

Patience, patience. And trust.

~~~

I love the projects and products I'm working on. I can't wait to start working on them in the morning.

Isn't that flippin' amazing?

~~~

My March money fears showed me that going down the what-if route and trying to control every scenario was not sustainable to my body, soul, nor to my marriage. This led me to let go a little and trust that things are unfolding as they are meant to.

My role is to take the next right action, let go and move on.

This feels a lot lighter.

~~~

I feel alive.

I am blessed.

Period.

~~~

Till the next checkpoint...